Learn to trust your YES and your NO

Do you remember what it was like to be five years old?
To trust yourself and to clearly know what you did and didn’t want?…
To go for what you wanted without hesitation?…
To freely share your love and your joy and your aliveness with the world?

So what happened to that? What happened to your confidence in knowing what you do or don’t want and what’s true for you?

Have you noticed that you might actually know a lot more often than you think you do but that you override that knowing?

How often have you gotten a sense or an initial impression that you quickly discredit or talk yourself out of?

How much convincing or justifying do you do of or to yourself on a regular basis?

You may have a lot more clarity than you think you do…  you may have just learned to discredit or bury it.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve talked myself in and out of so many things and situations that if I would have really stopped and listened, really honored my knowing, been clear about my YES and my NO, would have saved me a whole lot of suffering. Plus, who want’s to be in constant inner conflict?

What we learned in Childhood

Most of us were trained at a very early age, out of  honoring our YES and our NO out of trusting our knowing. How often was your Yes or your NO discredited or overridden? How often were you told you were wrong for your choices? How often were you told not to want, do or be what you wanted to have do or be? How much did you know and were aware of that was denied or confused by the people around you? And yet, on some level you knew, you had total clarity about what you wanted, what you did or didn’t like or want, what did or didn’t feel good to you until the world trained it out of you. At some point you probably got tired of defending and fighting for your YES and your NO. You may have concluded that you were wrong or just didn’t actually know. But you weren’t wrong, and you did know!!

Reclaiming your knowing

So what would it take to get that knowing back? What if you didn’t have to make excuses or justify your choices to anyone? What if you could own and claim and know what is true for you, no if’s and’s or but’s?

So often our initial clarity about our YES and our NO is clouded by what we think other people will think or out of needing to justify to ourselves or others what we are choosing. So what if you could choose just for you, just for fun, no need for explanation or justification exactly what you want, exactly what is true for you? What would it take to reclaim your YES and your NO? What’s true for you is your truth, it doesn’t depend on anybody else.

Here’s a little help to get you back in touch with your YES and your NO and get you out of fighting you:

• The truth will always make you feel lighter and a lie will always make you feel heavier, so if something is making you feel heavier, but you’re claiming it as true, it’s probably not.

• If you are doing any convincing of yourself or trying to talk yourself into something and it’s creating tension for you, you’re probably overriding your knowing.

• Go for that which gives you the greatest clarity and peace, that is your YES!

• When you really know something, you don’t have to justify it to yourself or
  anyone, you just know it. Would you be willing to just know what you know without need for justification?

• Pay attention to your initial impressions and senses before your cognitive mind kicks in. The more you try to “figure something out” the further away from your actual awareness and knowing you are moving. How many five-year-olds do you know who actually spend time trying to “Figure Out” what they want?

• Listen to your sense more than to the story or rationale.  Listen in to your inner sense. What does a YES feel like, what does a NO feel like?  When you feel into it, what makes you feel light?

• Stop making yourself wrong, trust your experience and sense of things and know that it is giving you important information.

• Ekkart Tolle says that if there’s a conflict between your thoughts and your feelings, the feelings are the greater truth. Remember that and LISTEN.

• Use muscle testing to help you hone your YES and your NO and start to get a sense of what yes and no really feel like. If you’re not familiar with muscle testing, have a session with me, come to a workshop or learn about it in my book Finding Your Own Happy:

You see, the more clarity we have on your YES and our NO, the more ease, freedom and clarity we will have in our lives. It’s this lack of clarity that tangles us up in soooo many ways, that keeps us confused and stuck and frustrated and holding back from giving, living, receiving and loving. When you are totally clear in your YES and your NO and choose accordingly, life opens up to you and you open up to life in totally expanded ways. Know and live this fully and your life will be transformed.

Let me know your thoughts. What challenges do you have in listening to your YES and NO? What helps you? Leave your comments below!

Stay tuned for how we can be with and support children in ways that help them stay connected to their YES and NO and honor their sense of knowing…