Being in Acceptance
I’ve been writing a lot about choosing, about honoring your YES and Your NO, on being intolerant, essentially on truly listening to yourself, knowing what’s true for you and honoring that.
Though it may at first appear contradictory, today I want to write about acceptance
You may have heard the statement “what you resist persists.” Maybe you’ve even found it to be true…
As long as we are resisting something, in opposition to something, we need that very thing in order to maintain our opposition or resistance. Try pushing against something- the wall, the table, someone else’s hand. What happens when the thing you’re pushing against goes away?
Try having an argument with someone who won’t argue or fight back… How long does it last?
It is the same with any condition in our lives. As long as we are pushing against it, fighting it or making it wrong, we are giving it energy, staying in a tug-of-war with that thing and need it to support our resistance. As long as we are fighting something, it will continue to be part of our reality.
When I first started exploring the field of acceptance, I was pretty skeptical that acceptance would create change in my life. And yet, I found that only when I could finally accept the way things are, did I have true freedom and was I able to create any real change.
By acceptance I don’t mean passivity, I don’t mean non-action or putting up with or tolerating conditions that don’t support you or your being. What I do mean is the ability to let go of the inner state of fighting and resisting the way things are, right here right now. Letting go of the focus on the wrongness of what is happening.
The Power of Acceptance
I’m totally amazed at what happens when I shift from “This IS wrong” “This needs to change” “I don’t ever want to experience this again” to “It’s ok” “I’m willing to allow this to be the way it is right now” even “I’m willing to experience this again”. It’s like when you get totally present with and love an upset child, when you just be there with them, they calm down. Somehow the whole experience softens and lightens and the intensity just drains away, there is space again for being.
When we make this shift, rather than being ruled by the things we are fighting, we can choose from awareness and presence what we would like to have or create. We can choose what would truly work for us, not out of reaction but just because it does. We have freed up our energy from being limited by reaction or resistance.
So, where in your life are you, reacting, resisting or making wrong?
What are you being against in your life that is limiting your ability to choose and sucking up your energy and ability to be FOR something else?
Can you notice inside yourself the energy of resistance, of push, of no, of wrong? What would it take to shift or change it?
If you stopped being in resistance and reactivity what would you like to choose instead?
That is so smart, Elana. It makes me think a lot… reminds me of what I know. I will let you know what I find out when I do a bit of searching.
[…] can actually lead to further suffering and pain and keep me stuck. When I can be present with and accept what is then ironically it has the space to shift and […]