Begin with the End in Mind

Begin.

With the end.

In mind.

I can’t tell you how true this is becoming for me, particularly and acutely in how I relate to and engage with other people. Often acting or engaging in ways that have not contributed to creating the kind of connection or engagement I desire, I have begun to really think before I act…

So often we choose the opposite. We choose actions that are very unlikely to create the conditions or invite the other person to give us what we desire.

We want understanding, so we judge and criticize the other person for not understanding us. Do you think you’ll get the understanding you’re looking for that way?

We feel hurt and we want the other person to show care, and yet, so often we demonstrate our hurt in ways that is very unlikely for the other person to show us the care we desire.

So, what changes if you Begin with the end in mind?

Ask yourself:

• What would I like to experience with or from the other person?

• How could I choose to engage that would be most likely to create the kind of experience I desire?

• What do I want the outcome of this interaction to be?

If you’re thinking of saying or doing something, before you do ask yourself:

• If I act or behave in this way is it likely to give me what I’m wanting?

• What is the likely impact or outcome of this action?

• How will the other person receive it or be affected by it and is that what I want to create? Is that what I intend?

• Is this who and how I want to be in the world?

I really have no power over anyone else, what they choose or how they behave, so what do I want to choose, how do I want to behave? What do I desire to create in my life and who do I desire to be?

If you are acting out of a place of hurt or out of urgency, particularly in which you think the other person needs to shift or change in order for you to be ok, I’m pretty certain that the actions you are about to take, are unlikely to give you the ends that you desire.

Whatever it is you desire, with whomever you desire it, whether it’s in relating to others or something you are trying to achieve,  what if you could make it a practice to begin with the end in mind?

DO THIS:

Whenever you think you Need to DO something RIGHT NOW. Take a deep breath. And another. And another. Connect WITH THE END that you desire, hold it IN MIND, connect with it fully, let it fill you, let it inform you, let it speak to you. Now if you feel ready, if you feel deeply connected to what you desire and have some amount of confidence that the actions you are taking will support that end and not create other undesired consequences,  BEGIN.

How would your life be different if you made this a practice, if in all of your engaging and relating, you begin with the end in mind?

Please share comments, thoughts, experiences and reflections below!