Mind the Gap:
Perhaps you’ve walked away from a situation or condition that you have been tolerating or that is no-longer serving you and at first it feels liberating. Then you start to wonder if you made the right choice, if things will work out, if you were just overreacting or being silly, if maybe you could have worked things out after all. Maybe you’re even considering going back… to the job, to the relationship, to the circumstances that challenged your wellbeing, because, you reason, at least having something was better than having nothing.
I call this the gap.
Being in the gap can be one of the most challenging parts of change. The gap in which you step away from what no longer serves you and the new space it creates to receive something more wonderful has not yet been filled.
In the emptiness it can be tempting to go back to the old thing, but if you have patience and are willing to mind the gap, new and wonderful things can and will emerge.
Many of us find this stage of change very challenging. More often than not we walk away and go back a number of times before we have the courage to truly walk away and to mind the gap until something else emerges in the space we have created.
Most of us want to have the new thing before we’re ready to let go of the old. We want to play it save and hedge our bets, staying in our comfort zone. In my experience though, it usually doesn’t work that way. It usually requires a full letting go and then a space of emptiness in which the new thing can emerge. Choice creates awareness, awareness does not create choice.
Tips for Minding the Gap:
- Have a clear vision of what you want and where you’d like to be going. Remind yourself that so much more is possible. If we keep this expanded vision and stay connected to what we really want we’re much less likely to feel inclined to return to a mediocre situation
- What was it that made you leave the situation in the first place? Remember all the reasons you left, not what you’re missing or you wish could have been or hoped would be if you had stayed… they weren’t happening, remember? You were unhappy and dissatisfied
- Look ahead, not behind. What are you moving toward? What are you creating space for? (yes, this is much like the first one, because I want you to remember to create forward motion and have a compelling vision)
- Engage with life in ways that you enjoy, find ways to engage that leave less space for the emptiness of what you’ve left behind. If you left a relationship, then find other ways to connect, or change your routine so you don’t feel all the gaps so intensely. Quit your job? Spend some time doing things you truly enjoy and that make your heart sing.
- Keep that vision, remember what it feels like when you feel happy and fully alive, keep moving toward the things that expand your life, your wellbeing and happiness, and not back to the things that don’t or haven’t.
- Listen to your inner whisper, to your inner knowing. There may come a time when the things you ere willing to let go of or leave behind show up in your life in a new and more fulfilling way. Keep your heart open, you never know how the universe will deliver, if it’s something that makes your heart sing and expands your life, then be open and willing to engage in a new way.
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