Emancipating Your Anger

So, I recently spent the whole day super duper depressed.

That doesn’t happen to me very often anymore but when it does it can be super intense.

There are those days that I experience a little wave of depression and easily find my way out of it, (Hint: Who does this belong to?) and then there are those days when nothing seems to help.

This was one of those days.

What I discovered at the end of the day, that finally shifted me out of it, surprised me.

What I discovered was that I was actually angry! Yes, angry. I had not been giving myself space to even acknowledge that I was angry, let alone express it.

See, most of us are taught that anger is bad, anger is mean, anger is something to be transcended and overcome. But what if that’s not true? What if anger actually has a life-giving and life-serving purpose?

To repress my anger was to cut off that flow of life energy, to deny my vitality, to disconnect from the force of life so much that I didn’t want to live.

Wow, that’s powerful stuff!

When I cut myself off from my anger, I literally cut myself off from life.

So what is the life-energy in anger?

What awareness is anger trying to bring to my attention that I’m not willing to acknowledge or see?

Anger is about standing up for yourself, having a voice, saying NO, protecting yourself, restoring balance and self-respect. It’s about clear boundaries and reclaiming the sovereignty over your own space and being.

Anger occurs when somehow our being, our sovereignty has been violated or crossed… when we are twisting ourselves up to fit someone else’s reality… when we deny our awareness and our potency. For me in this day it was a final NO. A NO to being treated with less care, respect, consideration and value than I know I am here for. A clear boundary… a seeing that where I had been questioning myself or allowing myself to fall into doubt and confusion about how I was being treated was no-longer acceptable. Allowing myself to acknowledge my anger was incredibly clarifying.

Anger brought to my awareness the dynamics that needed to change. In some way it was taking back a part of me and my dignity that had been lost. I was able to reconnect to my vitality, to life.

Anger is a fiery energy. Much of our fear of anger comes from the lack of skill of handling that fire. Just like fire, when handled properly it can be incredibly useful in so many ways. If we don’t know how to work with it, it can rage out of control, scorch and burn. We have learned to work with fire to be an indispensable tool in our lives- just because it has the power to destroy and burn, doesn’t mean we don’t use fire.

It is the same with anger. If we can learn how to channel our anger, let it be a messenger and a tool, then it can be a powerful force for good in our lives. If not tended properly can burn out of control and become destructive.

• What is your relationship to anger and do you ever let yourself be angry?

• What have you made so valuable and vital about not acknowledging or expressing your anger that cuts you off from your life, your living and your full vitality?

• How much have you been denying excusing or apologizing for how someone else has treated you, that if you would allow yourself to acknowledge it you would realize how truly pissed you are?

• What would it take to have space for your anger, to tend your anger and know how to work with it as the powerful energy that it is?

• Are you willing to access your inner ROAR and reclaim the energy power and potency you truly are?

• How can you acknowledge and be with your anger in a way that is life-serving and not destructive to you or the people around you?

• What else is possible for you with the energy of anger that if you allowed yourself to acknowledge it would give you access to greater ease, peace and happiness with life?