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Exploring Violence and Nonviolence in Communication

What does Nonviolence mean to you? We opened our first class of Communication From the Inside Out with this question. As we delved into the exploration of Violence and Nonviolence we discovered that violence and the roots of violence is far more complex and complicated than we ever would have imagined. Recognizing violence in all of it's forms Most people think of violence as physical harm, brutality and the like, in which most of us don't actively participate, [...]

By Elana|2019-11-23T02:21:32-08:00June 18th, 2013|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood, NVC, Transformation|Tags: Adult-child Relationships, Arun Gandhi, child Empowerment, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, connection, Consciousness, empowerment, equality, freedom, Marshall Rosenberg, nonviolence, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Parent-child relationships, Parenting, Power with, respect, self-help|0 Comments

Moving past judgements

Moving past Judgements Have you noticed that a lot of what takes you out of being present are judgements and conclusions? Have you noticed that a lot of the feeling crappy that we experience actually has to do with judgements? What If You Stopped Judging You? What would your life be like if you could let yourself just be? What would it be like if you spent one whole day not judging you? Have you ever spent time [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T21:36:30-08:00June 11th, 2013|Categories: being an empath, Transformation|Tags: Being present, Compassion, connection, Consciousness, empowerment, freedom, healing, peace, Possibility, Presence, self-help, self-respect, Transformation, Transforming Judements|0 Comments

Getting Deeply Present

BECOME DEEPLY PRESENT WITH LIFE So much of our suffering has to do with some story we tell ourselves either about the past or future, conclusions we draw about life and how things are or aren't happening, what has happened that we didn't like or that we miss about what happened, what will happen and how much better or worse than this moment it will be. In the midst of great uncertainty in my life to the point [...]

By Elana|2020-02-05T07:01:04-08:00June 6th, 2013|Categories: Creating your life, Transformation|Tags: Being present, choice, Consciousness, empowerment, Gratitude, healing, Now, Presence, Spirtuality, The power of now, Tips, Transformation|3 Comments

Needs Vs. Strategies…

Distinguishing Needs from Strategies Something I've been studying and working with for many years is something called "Nonviolent Communication" or NVC, which some of you may be familiar with. I struggle with this name as I don't believe that either the Nonviolent or the Communication piece really articulates what it's about. My working explanation for Nonviolent Communication goes like this: Nonviolent Communication is not only a language and process for expressing ourselves and hearing others, it is also [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T20:08:55-08:00May 28th, 2013|Categories: NVC|Tags: choice, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, Conflict Resolution, connection, decision making, empowerment, equality, freedom, getting along, healing, human relationships, Marshall Rosenberg, Needs, needs and strategies, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, NVC practice, Power with, relationship building, respect, Self-determination, self-responsability, win-win|5 Comments

Reconstructing Adult/Child relationships- part 2: A context for mutuality

A Context for Mutuality... Adult/child relationships are also constructed through family design and structure. In mainstream society and nuclear family settings, virtually all relationships children have, at least initially, are mediated through their parents. While kids gain greater independence, especially as they get older, in conducting peer-to-peer relationships, there is little scope for independently initiated and facilitated relationships with adults. Most child-adult relationships are based on adult authority such as parents and teachers and not on mutually shared [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T19:58:33-08:00July 21st, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: adult-child friendship, Adult-child Relationships, child Empowerment, childhood, connection, equality, horizonal relationships, mutuality, Power with, relationship building, respect, Self-determination, Social Construction of Childhood|1 Comment

Reconstructing Adult/Child Relationships- part 1 of two

Reconstructing Adult/Child Relationships Much of the way our relationships with children are currently constructed is based on adult authority and adults acting upon children rather than sharing power and holding mutual respect with them. The labels of “adult” and “child” so often become barriers to connection, on a mutual or horizontal level, where people who find interest in each other and benefit from the company of the other engaged in freely chosen and mutually beneficial ways. What avenues [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T07:22:51-08:00July 15th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: Adult-child Relationships, Autonomy, child Empowerment, child rearing, childhood, connection, freedom, Parent-child relationships, Power with, relationship building, respect, Self-determination, Social Construction of Childhood|0 Comments

Age as Grounds for Exclusion?

Age Discrimination We have perceived children for so long as immature and incompetent that we have barred them from participating in activities that allow them to mature and gain competence in the world. These ideas are based more on our sentiments about children however, than on the validity of what children, if they are allowed, are actually capable. Age in and of its self is neither a measure of competence nor of maturity, but it is constantly used [...]

By Elana|2020-02-05T07:00:58-08:00July 10th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: Age discrmination, Autonomy, child Empowerment, children's rights, equality, freedom, Self-determination, Social Construction of Childhood, youth oppression|0 Comments

Pursuing one’s own Interests

Pursuing One’s Own Interests The best preparation for a meaningful and productive future is a meaningful and productive present Too often, childhood is thought of in terms of preparation: “Do this now, even if it doesn’t feel connected to your most pressing interests and concerns, because later on you’ll find it useful.” Helping children to figure out what seems interesting and worth doing right now, in their current lives, helps them develop self-knowledge and experience at figuring out [...]

By Elana|2020-02-05T07:00:47-08:00July 4th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: Autonomy, child Empowerment, children's rights, choice, connection, decision making, education, freedom, Matt Hern, Self-determination, self-directed learning|0 Comments

leave us kids alone… at least until we ask for your involvement

I am re-reading a children's classic-Tom Sawyer. I am struck not only by the high level of autonomy and freedom the boys posses in this book, but also the great degree of self-confidence, trust and self-reliance. The reality of structure, supervision and control of kids lives has become, for the most part, the predominate experience. Between sports and homework and whatever extra-curricular activities kids are involved in- when is there time to play, to discover, to imagine, to [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T07:14:35-08:00June 22nd, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: Autonomy, child Empowerment, childhood, children's rights, Chris mercogliano, decision making, free play, freedom, self regulation, Self-determination, self-directed learning, Social Construction of Childhood|4 Comments

Kids Trusting Themselves

Kids Trusting Themselves Thinking children incompetent or not realizing just how capable they actually are, perhaps because we have provided them little opportunity to demonstrate their capabilities, keeps us managing their lives rather than trusting them to make decisions and be responsible for themselves. Such acts foster a relationship of dependence and enforce inequality and inability rather than bring children into parity. By constantly making decisions for kids and managing their lives we are also teaching them to [...]

By Elana|2020-02-05T06:59:33-08:00June 12th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: Autonomy, child Empowerment, child rearing, decision making, John Holt, Louise Dietzel, Marshall Rosenberg, Matt Hern, P.E.T., Parent-child relationships, self regulation, Self-determination, Thomas Gordon, win-win|0 Comments

Supporting Autonomy Through Social Strcuture

Social Structure Social structure constantly shapes and directs our lives. For most of us, it is not something that we pay much attention to or that we are consciously aware of. The following experience and insight from living on a family homestead and community with kids and parents living and working in the same space together, helped me to see how social structure might be an important element in design and of increasing kids’ autonomy: My experience of [...]

By Elana|2011-06-04T02:54:09-07:00June 3rd, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: Adult-child Relationships, Autonomy, child Empowerment, child rearing, childhood, connection, Cooperation, equality, Parent-child relationships, Parenting, Power with, Social Construction of Childhood|0 Comments

Integration of children in community and society

I do a lot of wondering. A lot of wondering about kids and childhood and our current social construction of childhood, how it supports kids as unique beings in their learning and growing and becoming autonomous people, and how it might work better. What does it mean for kids to have rich, purposeful, engaged lives as part of their community and their society, not only when they grow up, but now, this very moment, at what ever age [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T07:06:48-08:00May 31st, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: Adult-child Relationships, child Empowerment, children's rights, connection, equality, relationship building, Social Construction of Childhood|1 Comment

Freedom of Movement- Part 4 in series on body space/movement

Children’s Freedom of Movement The issues of space and the control of a person’s body also extend to the control of their range of movement. Not only do we invade and control children’s physical bodies/space but the way that children can move about in the world is often severely limited. Children have their movement restricted and are not free to move about as they please. They may be confined to a specific room (such as “the toddler room”) [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T07:00:46-08:00May 13th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood, body space/movement|Tags: Autonomy, child Empowerment, freedom, personal space, physical space, self regulation, Self-determination, Social Construction of Childhood|0 Comments

From Control, to Freedom and Empowerment/part 3 in series on body space/movement

How we (adults, parents, adult culture and society) control kids bodies/movement and a New Vision of Respect and Empowerment I decided to include this list as part of my series on body space/freedom of movement, as I think it is useful to explore these particular areas and examples and to explore a new vision for how things could be. Control of physical movements-curfews for one, where kids can or can’t go. Forcing kids to sit still in school, [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T06:59:00-08:00May 6th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood, body space/movement|Tags: Autonomy, child rearing, children's rights, chlid empowerment, connection, Parent-child relationships, Power with, Self-determination, Social Construction of Childhood, win-win|0 Comments

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