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Children navigating their sex lives- Part 2 in series on body space/freedom of movement

Children’s Sex Lives (part two in series on body space/freedom of movement) Both on the subject of allowing children to trust themselves and their bodies and on the task of bringing children into full parity rather than enforcing inequality through limiting, I have come to examine our ideas around children and sex. We make many assumptions and justifications regarding our need to control and limit children in this area; but do such ideas really help to bring children [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T06:33:19-08:00May 2nd, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood, body space/movement|Tags: A.S. Neill, child rearing, childhood, chlid empowerment, equality, healing, Parent-child relationships, Power with, Self-determination|0 Comments

Respecting Kid’s Personal and Physical Space- part one of series on body space/freedom of movement

Personal and Physical Space Personal and bodily space are interesting facets of people’s lives, ones that we generally consider the private and sovereign domain of the individual, and that the individual has the right to control and protect. Violations of personal and especially bodily space, particularly by strangers, is taken as quite a serious offense. Control of another person’s body, both in restriction of movement and in control of function, is quite literally imprisonment/slavery. While children are initially [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T06:38:28-08:00April 29th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood, body space/movement|Tags: Adult-child Relationships, Autonomy, boundaries, child Empowerment, children's rights, choice, connection, decision making, freedom, personal space, physical space, Power with, respect, self regulation, Self-determination, Wilhelm Reich|4 Comments

Teaching Obediance to Authority or Culitvating Inner Trust and Self-determination?

One of the worst things about arbitrary authority is it makes us lose our trust in natural authority- people who know what they are doing and could share a lot of wisdom with us. When they make you obey the cruel and unreasonable [authority] they steal your desire to learn from [or listen to] the kind and reasonable [authority]” (Grace Llewellyn, The Teenage Liberation Handbook.) If we truly take the time to listen and be present with our [...]

By Elana|2020-02-05T06:59:03-08:00April 21st, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: Autonomy, childhood, chlid empowerment, communication skills, Cooperation, Parent-child relationships, Parenting, Power with, relationship building, Self-determination, Thomas Gordon, win-win|0 Comments

Are your belifes about what kids can do limiting them?

The effects of our beliefs on kids' capabilities One of the ways we interfere with children’s autonomy and act upon them, rather than cultivating relationships of mutual respect and shared power is through our beliefs of children’s limited capabilities and our efforts to keep them within those limits. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We don’t allow kids to do things we think they are not capable of and therefore they don't have an opportunity to prove otherwise or [...]

By Elana|2020-02-05T06:58:43-08:00April 13th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: Autonomy, chlid empowerment, equality, Louise Dietzel, Power with, Self-determination, Social Construction of Childhood, Thomas Gordon, win-win|6 Comments

What are kids needs underneath their behavior?

Listening for What Kids Really Need So how do we really listen to what kids are needing, not just at the surface but at the deeper levels of their being? If, as Marshall Rosenberg and Compassionate Communication (NVC) assert, human behavior is really an expression of met or un-met needs and all anyone is ever doing is trying to meet their needs, what is a person's behavior really saying and communicating? I am seeking to understand kids’ behavior [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T06:43:46-08:00April 10th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: communication skills, Compassionate Communication, connection, Cooperation, Louise Dietzel, Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, P.E.T., Parent-child relationships, Parenting, relationship building, Thomas Gordon|3 Comments

Making Presence a Priority

Shifting Priorities Not only being in kids’ lives, but fostering a certain quality of relationship is very important. If we want to make a real difference in kids’ lives, then not only our presence, but the quality of that presence can be extremely important. How do we make a cultural shift to the point where taking care of children and giving them full attention, the quality of our presence in their lives, is just as important as anything [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T06:45:06-08:00April 8th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: child rearing, childhood, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, connection, Cooperation, healing, Louise Dietzel, Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication, P.E.T., Parent-child relationships, Parenting, Power with, relationship building, Thomas Gordon, win-win|1 Comment

Cultivating Consideration

How do we cultivate in children a sense of care or consideration for others, a sense of responsibility and participation in the human community? While accountability and responsibility are important this does not mean that we use authoritarian power and punishment to “teach” someone a lesson. Like in any caring relationship, the goal should be toward cooperation and mutual respect, and through this care, a movement toward consideration and meeting of everyone's needs. Helping a child to understand [...]

By Elana|2020-02-05T06:58:32-08:00April 2nd, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: Autonomy, child rearing, childhood, chlid empowerment, Compassionate Communication, Cooperation, equality, Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication, Parent-child relationships, Power with, teaching compassion, win-win|3 Comments

Let kids rule the school

As part of my blog, I want to include stories about kids taking responsibility for and capably running their own lives, of achieving things on their own without the direct involvement and design of adults and showing themselves capable of things we so often believe they can't do or must learn from adults first; This article about high school kids directing their own learning is one such example: Op-Ed Contributor from here Let Kids Rule the School By [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T06:47:39-08:00March 16th, 2011|Categories: Empowered Kids|Tags: Autonomy, chlid empowerment, Cooperation, equality, Self-determination, self-directed learning|0 Comments

Say You’re Sorry?

Most parents want their children to grow up to be considerate of others and to be contributing members of society and their community but, so often, parents attempt to achieve this end through methods of manipulation and coercion. Such methods not only fail to cultivate in the child the desired feeling of care or compassion, but have other detrimental and perhaps opposite affects on the child. While we can sometimes get people to change their actions through such [...]

By Elana|2020-02-05T06:57:40-08:00March 15th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: child rearing, childhood, chlid empowerment, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Parenting, Power with, teaching compassion|5 Comments

Costs and limitations of Power-Over

Power Over? Living in the Old Paradigm, we have come to use manipulation, coercion and force to get children to do our bidding. The Old Paradigm, works on a system of punishment and rewards, of absolutes, of “good” and “bad”. We fail to recognize that children have their own needs and interests separable from adults, that they are people in their own right, and are not solely to be acted upon. Not only is such behavior undemocratic, life-diminishing, [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T06:50:06-08:00February 16th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: child rearing, childhood, chlid empowerment, communication skills, Cooperation, Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, P.E.T., Parent-child relationships, Parenting, Power with, Thomas Gordon, win-win|0 Comments

“Child” as a catagory

Child as a Category: Are 3 year olds and 13 year olds really that similar? Are 16 year olds and 18 year olds really that different? After speaking with my now 17 year old friend (who I've known since she was one) about the phase of life she's in~ this place that, as society and culture has constructed it, is somewhere between childhood and full adulthood~I felt inspired to share some reflections on childhood as a category, why [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T06:53:46-08:00January 29th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: childhood, chlid empowerment, Social Construction of Childhood|1 Comment

Creating a New Paradigm For Childhood:

I have come to believe that the current social construction of childhood puts children in a position of subordination to adult authority in ways that are both oppressive and limiting. It teaches fear of and obedience to external authority rather than fostering freedom and promoting the capacity for independent thinking, mutual respect and self-responsibility. Given this, how can we construct childhood in a way that is not controlling or oppressive; that gives children power over their own lives; [...]

By Elana|2011-03-15T16:27:46-07:00January 17th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: Autonomy, child rearing, childhood, children's rights, chlid empowerment, Cooperation, equality, Parent-child relationships, Parenting, Power with, Self-determination, Social Construction of Childhood, win-win|3 Comments

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