What is love anyway? "There's a hundred shades of love, and a million in-between, if you can't get enough, then there's more you haven't seen" ~Andrew Donovan “I LOVE YOU” What does that mean? What does it mean to love someone, what does it mean to be loved? What is love anyway? I started to ponder these questions when I noticed this gap between someone telling me they love me and how I felt in relationship to their [...]
Compliments that ConnectHow able are you to accept a compliment?We all know we “SHOULD” accept compliments when we receive them, but here's the funny thing about compliments- they often come in the form of judgment:“You're so pretty” “You're so smart" “You're such a calm person” “You're so kind and considerate”Have you ever noticed that you might feel slightly uneasy with these compliments even though you “should” be able to take a compliment?The thing with these types of compliments [...]
Empathy Before Education"I regretted how often in the past I'd rendered children incompetent by stepping in too soon." ~ Tom HobsonThis sentence from the Teacher Tom blog jumped out at me.I wonder how often we render children incompetent by stepping in too soon. I wonder how often we render anyone incompetent by stepping in too soon.I've noticed in my time working with children that we so often per-determine their capabilities or lack there of and step in before [...]
Begin with the End in Mind Begin. With the end. In mind. I can't tell you how true this is becoming for me, particularly and acutely in how I relate to and engage with other people. Often acting or engaging in ways that have not contributed to creating the kind of connection or engagement I desire, I have begun to really think before I act... So often we choose the opposite. We choose actions that are very unlikely [...]
The Power We Have in Relationships I am realizing just how little power I have over other people, particularly if I want to stay in an empowered place myself. Any time I make another person at fault or responsible for my experience, I have given my power away. When I do that, their behavior determines my experience and consequently requires them to change if I wish to have a different experience. If you think about it, I imagine [...]
Trusting the Intelligence of your design "You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves... I've been thinking about this a bit... about this soft animal... Have you ever noticed how often we make ourselves wrong? Fight ourselves, think that we should be different? Judge ourselves for feeling [...]
Try this exercise: Notice a sentence in which you use the word feel. Now say the same sentence again, without using the word feel. When you take out the word feel, are you actually expressing a feeling or are you expressing an opinion or interpretation?... Example: "I feel excited." Take out feel and it translates to "I'm excited." "I feel welcomed." Take out feel and you have "I'm welcomed". Which actually expresses a feeling, an emotion?... If you [...]
You can't make me... I spend a fair amount of time with children. Actually, being with and relating to children is one of those special gifts I have. It started when I was just a kid and I guess I just never stopped playing, being with and relating to children. Through my experience I've developed a unique perspective that's part of what I'm here to share with the world. One theme that has been arising recently is the [...]
What does Nonviolence mean to you? We opened our first class of Communication From the Inside Out with this question. As we delved into the exploration of Violence and Nonviolence we discovered that violence and the roots of violence is far more complex and complicated than we ever would have imagined. Recognizing violence in all of it's forms Most people think of violence as physical harm, brutality and the like, in which most of us don't actively participate, [...]
Distinguishing Needs from Strategies Something I've been studying and working with for many years is something called "Nonviolent Communication" or NVC, which some of you may be familiar with. I struggle with this name as I don't believe that either the Nonviolent or the Communication piece really articulates what it's about. My working explanation for Nonviolent Communication goes like this: Nonviolent Communication is not only a language and process for expressing ourselves and hearing others, it is also [...]