Self-determination Archives ⋆ True Essence Coaching

Why Just Loving Yourself Isn’t Enough

Why Loving Yourself Isn't EnoughDo you get told when relationships are challenging, or you're not exactly receiving the love that you desire that you just need to love yourself more? And that somehow, self-love is the magic ticket that will solve all your relationship (and life!) problems? I've been hearing for a long time, and maybe you have too, that in order to have love you just need to love yourself... more. While I DO believe that loving yourself is [...]

By Elana|2021-02-14T22:21:55-08:00July 14th, 2020|Categories: Uncategorized|Tags: Awareness, healing, love, Personal Development, personal empowerment, relationship building, respect, Self-determination, self-respect, subconscious, subconscious belifes|0 Comments

Subconscious Family Patterning

Subconscious Family Patterning Have you ever noticed that family relationships can be some of the most challenging? This is often because there is a lifetime of history we are bringing into each interaction, history that often includes painful experiences of not having our needs met from people who we have an evolutionary expectation to meet them... history that often includes struggles for power in one way or another, struggles to meet those needs, or get the people we [...]

By Elana|2020-06-23T00:12:55-07:00June 21st, 2020|Categories: Family|Tags: choice, connection, Consciousness, empowerment, family, freedom, healing, Personal Development, personal empowerment, relationships, self regulation, Self-determination, self-respect, subconscious beliefs, Subconscious patterning|2 Comments

Finding who you be beyond your family

Finding who you BE beyond your family Through some deep work and exploration with one of my clients, what I'm coming to see as a real step into adulthood is being able to create yourself and your life beyond your family. That is, to choose for you your own beliefs, thoughts, ideas, or ways of being. To make choices about how you spend your time and run your life based on what you want and what works for you, [...]

By Elana|2020-06-23T00:00:04-07:00June 11th, 2020|Categories: Family, Transformation|Tags: adulthood, Autonomy, choice, Consciousness, empowerment, family, Family patterning, Family programming, freedom, Personal Development, personal empowerment, Self-determination, Transformation|0 Comments

Your choices create your life

Choice I’ve been thinking a lot about choice and the power of choice and how it’s the magic and the secret to having what you desire in life… Really. Think about it for a moment. What you choose really does determine the life you’ll have both now and in the future. So many of us desire, dream of, wish or pray for change in our lives, and yet, what we choose stays the same. If we don’t make [...]

By Elana|2019-12-26T16:00:04-08:00December 27th, 2019|Categories: Creating your life, Transformation|Tags: Awareness, choice, connection, Consciousness, Creating change, empowerment, peace, personal power, Self-determination, self-help, self-respect, Transformation|3 Comments

Who is Anyone to Anyone?

Who is Anyone to Anyone? How the conceptions we have of others keep us and them from changing or being known for who we truly are I go through lots of change. The person I was three months ago, doesn't actually exist anymore. Except to the people I haven't seen in three months, that's how they know me- or even more likely they don't actually have the three month old model of me but one much older than that which is [...]

By Elana|2015-05-16T01:50:05-07:00May 5th, 2015|Categories: Family, Transformation|Tags: Being present, connection, Consciousness, family, freedom, peace, Personal Development, relationship building, respect, Self-determination, Transformation|0 Comments

What do YOU know about YOU?

What do YOU know about YOU? What If somewhere deep down inside of you you KNOW what is true for you, YOU know what is going on for you and what you need to do to shift the places you are stuck or that you feel aren't working in your life? What if no-one, no matter how educated, smart, perceptive, intuitive, or magical knows better than you what is right and true for you? Yet, how often do [...]

By Elana|2015-04-03T16:45:48-07:00April 3rd, 2015|Categories: Transformation|Tags: Awareness, connection, Consciousness, empowerment, healing, personal empowerment, Self-determination, self-respect, Self-trust, Transformation|0 Comments

What else is possible when you surrender the past?

What Else is Possible When You Surrender the Past and Truly Create Your Life from the Present? Welcome to this New Year! This new moment that is full of possibility that has never been before. How true is that of every moment, not just the turn of the year? How true is it for you? Most of us are not living from a place of connection to the possibility within each new moment. Most of us are busy [...]

By Elana|2020-02-05T07:01:26-08:00January 4th, 2015|Categories: Transformation|Tags: Awareness, Being present, Consciousness, Creating change, Creating your life, empowerment, letting go of the past, New Years resolutions, Personal Development, personal empowerment, Possibility, Presence, Self-determination, self-help, Transformation|0 Comments

Some thoughts on Maturity

Some Thoughts on Maturity What does maturity mean to you? What makes someone mature or immature? I began to more-deeply investigate the question of maturity when I noticed I was repeatedly judging someone in my life as immature. Being a practitioner of Nonviolent Communication, which invites us to move beyond our judgement to see more clearly what is actually occurring, I wanted to really unpack what behaviors or ways of being I was labeling as immature. What I came to see [...]

By Elana|2020-02-05T07:09:34-08:00August 22nd, 2014|Categories: Uncategorized|Tags: Awareness, choice, Compassionate Communication, connection, Consciousness, freedom, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Personal Development, Self-determination|1 Comment

Bullying is a symptom

Bullying is a symptom, can we address it at its cause?Bullying. I've been hearing a bit about bulling lately, chiefly about legislation, laws and rules in response to bullying. My heart goes out to all the children who are or have been victims of bullying, and to their families, especially to the families of those children who have taken their own lives. A tragedy I would not wish upon anyone. However, I really wonder if laws and legislation [...]

By Elana|2020-02-05T07:03:29-08:00June 6th, 2014|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: Bullying, child Empowerment, child rearing, childhood, communication skills, Cooperation, empowerment, Power with, Self-determination, Social Construction of Childhood, Social harmony, win-win|8 Comments

Mind the Gap

Mind the Gap: Perhaps you've walked away from a situation or condition that you have been tolerating or that is no-longer serving you and at first it feels liberating. Then you start to wonder if you made the right choice, if things will work out, if you were just overreacting or being silly, if maybe you could have worked things out after all. Maybe you're even considering going back... to the job, to the relationship, to the circumstances that challenged [...]

By Elana|2020-02-05T07:03:58-08:00May 1st, 2014|Categories: Uncategorized|Tags: change, Consciousness, empowerment, Personal Development, personal empowerment, Self-determination, Transformation, Vision|0 Comments

The voice that speaks inside

The Voice That Speaks InsideThe Voice, by Shel SilversteinAhh, yes! The voice that speaks inside. And yet, how often do we deny or crush that voice? How often do we argue with that voice or make it wrong?What if you're not wrong? What if you stopped drowning out that voice and started listening to its every little whisper? What would it have to tell you? What would it show you about your life, about your heart, about your [...]

By Elana|2020-02-05T07:03:28-08:00April 25th, 2014|Categories: Transformation|Tags: Awareness, connection, empowerment, freedom, inner voice, personal empowerment, Self-determination, Self-trust, Social Construction of Childhood|1 Comment

Begin with the End in Mind

Begin with the End in Mind Begin. With the end. In mind. I can't tell you how true this is becoming for me, particularly and acutely in how I relate to and engage with other people. Often acting or engaging in ways that have not contributed to creating the kind of connection or engagement I desire, I have begun to really think before I act... So often we choose the opposite. We choose actions that are very unlikely [...]

By Elana|2019-11-23T04:15:06-08:00October 17th, 2013|Categories: NVC, relationship|Tags: Awareness, communication skills, connection, empowerment, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, personal empowerment, relationship building, self regulation, Self-determination, self-help|1 Comment

Changing others?

The Power We Have in Relationships I am realizing just how little power I have over other people, particularly if I want to stay in an empowered place myself. Any time I make another person at fault or responsible for my experience, I have given my power away. When I do that, their behavior determines my experience and consequently requires them to change if I wish to have a different experience. If you think about it, I imagine [...]

By Elana|2019-11-23T04:08:50-08:00October 9th, 2013|Categories: Creating your life, NVC, relationship|Tags: Awareness, choice, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, connection, empowerment, freedom, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Power with, Self-determination|2 Comments

What IS actually Possible?

What IS actually Possible? Would you like to find out? Have you ever noticed how many conditions and limitations you put on your life? Have you ever noticed how many conclusions you have every day about what is or isn't possible, about that you can and can't do? Me hiking in the Andes in Argentina. I thought I'd NEVER make it to the top, but I DID! I have! And guess what else I noticed? When [...]

By Elana|2019-11-23T04:07:16-08:00October 3rd, 2013|Categories: Creating your life, Depression, Transformation|Tags: Awareness, child Empowerment, Consciousness, empowerment, freedom, Self-determination, self-help, Transformation|1 Comment

Receiving Judgement

Receiving Judgment How many of us stop yourselves because we are afraid to be judged, afraid what others will think? When you are being more than others are willing to receive or to allow themselves to be, they will go into judgment of you. So, do you want to function from and be controlled by others limitations or are you willing to choose and have a reality that works for you, regardless of what others think? The more [...]

By Elana|2019-11-23T03:40:15-08:00September 16th, 2013|Categories: Creating your life, Transformation, Trusting yourself|Tags: Consciousness, empowerment, freedom, judgement, receiving, Self-determination, self-help, self-respect, Self-trust|2 Comments